good tidings

haha... good tidings...
nope... not yet christmas...
but for those who is concerned...
this might be a good news... ;)

*eh-hem*

scroll down please~~

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STOP!! STOP!! STOP!!





*eh-hem*





READY???





ARE YOU SURE???










cant you be more patient a bit??





ok ok... stop playing around ^^










READY



1



2



3



I'M STAYING ^^

又来了，乱乱想了

我想做自己的主人
想不顾一切跟随自己的心
但同时考虑了很多很多因素
同时不想让别人操心

为什么这样难的
我很想尽快作出个决定
因为再这样下去



我...


是会


疯


的.............

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

成绩好像放榜了
到底考得怎样？
我好像没有勇气去面对
还没去看
能不能去旅行？
真的很难讲
讨厌自己了

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Quote:我只是没有得到机会而已，我只是没有找到自己的目标而已，我绝对是认真的人 - 崔汉杰

你在忙哦？

msn好多路人甲噢
怎么都不见你在线呢
你总该上来说说话啊


看到你在线了
等着等着你来和我说话
但你给我的通常都只是失望
已经1个星期没和你说话了
你在忙吗？
没什么
只是想告诉你
我...突然很想很想你

我老了么？

我老了么？我好像老了。我老了！
总觉得自己老了，原因不是因为我生日变老
是因为最近总爱“想当年”，忆起了好多人事物
再加上最近遇到好多朋友，很久不见的朋友
就忽然间，“想当年”起来了
想想幼儿园的朋友，想想小学到中学的同学
又想想教会的朋友，营会认识的朋友等等
不知不觉就觉得自己老了
因为只有老人家才会“想当年”
再想想师长们，不在人世的长辈
我真的老了！
“想当年”许多美好的回忆
唉~岁月不饶人哦
大家要珍惜哦

我，真的老了><

what will it be this time?

what is this? hehe... this is a bear... yeap
this is my favourite soft toy... and it has a name
it's name is hooli mooli ^^ (mama always call it wooli wooli ><)
and it is going to be 4years old this coming august
why is it so special?
because... it is the ever first soft toy from papa (from what i remember)
when i was a kid, papa never bought any soft toy for us
but... when i was 15 that year he went london
he bought soft toy for us instead of giving us pounds...
but i love it! very very much...
whenever i go... i will bring it along
yes... even when i was in NS!!

and this is hugo... it is a monkey
as you can see it is hanging on the door knob
this is of course also from papa...
we think that he falls in love on buying us soft toys
hugo is 2 years old this year
papa bought this when he went for apec at vietnam in 2006

and this is two two
well again... it is also from papa
he bought this last year when he went to australia
two two is forever 24/7 in my car
well if you have a chance to sit my car
try to search for two two... hehe
but do not think that you can find two two
at the back seats
well two two is a koala bear
so find at some extraordinary place ^^

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well... i wonder what papa will bring back this time...
he is now at ishykawa, komatsu...
could it be soft toys again?? or should i ask him to buy kimono?? ^^
we shall see tomorrow
nah... anything will do... as long as it is from papa... im happy already~~~

变变变

今天是特别的日子，是第100天哦
什么什么100天？自己去想答案咯
看回这100天所写的日记
觉得自己像一条鱼离开了水
除了挣扎还是挣扎
也有一点觉得像在逆行手扶梯
有时想放弃，随着手扶梯而行
有时又想试着努力，到达顶端
自己看了都有点顶不顺自己


今天原本打算去eye on malaysia 的
可是因为某些原因计划取消
然后就相约朋友去海边
但最后临时改变计划
因为天空好想要哭了
最后去了喝茶
喝了咖啡导致现在还睡不着


最后的最后
问题还是没有答案
希望有一天我能有知道答案的权利
离开你以后，不管过多久
心里还是会有那么一扇窗
是留给你的

想对 [NI] 说

想对 [NI] 说声“谢谢”
当全世界只剩下黑暗
是 [NI] 给了我光明
点亮了我的生命
[NI] 聆听我每一个心跳
[NI] 擦干我每一滴眼泪
[NI] 让我有个依靠


想对 [NI] 说声“对不起”
一次又一次
我离开了 [NI]
但每当我回头转向 [NI]
一次又一次
[NI] 依然展开双臂
紧紧地拥抱我


想对 [NI] 说声“我爱 [NI] ”
因为 [NI] 永远都那么地爱我
因为 [NI] 的爱，使我有勇气面对这世界
因为 [NI] 的爱，我知道我不是一个人

o_O

was reading my short stories just now... and i felt something
for once i thought that i feel dizzy and going to faint anytime
but i know and i experienced this once before and now the second time
yes, it is not that I'm feeling sick or uncomfortable
it is the aftershock of earthquake at north sumatra

i can feel it here in malacca
strong and shaky for quite a few seconds... maybe 10
how about those in indonesia?
God, please have mercy on us
we are all sinners and we have done great sins
and yet we did not repent
it offended YOU and YOU are punishing us now

God, please have mercy on us

7月会回来吗？

昨晚应该是今年最后一次一起吃晚饭吧
昨晚也应该是今年最后一次一起喝茶吧
虽然没有机会四个人一起挤车
有一点小遗憾
但是大家笨蛋来，笨蛋去
番薯来，番薯去（特别是扮芒果的番薯）
还真的很开心一下


今早无法送你啦 （因为下午有考试）
也没有起床送你出门（太早了，4点叻><)
所以你要自己保重啦 不要再像小孩子一样了
吃饱了，还要扮飞机一下 会吓跑病人的

7月会回来吗？><

irreplaceable

I could still remember that day
it was nearly 4years ago... around june... and it was a saturday afternoon
you were waiting for me outside my school... I had came out late
but you never grumble or complain
but something terrible happened on me... I was crying that time
in a very terrible way I can say
I entered your car... and I still remember your expression
you looked worry and wanted to know what happened to me
"who bullied you?" "who scolded you?"
I cry and cry and could not answer your question
I shaked my head
and I know you are in great worry


I was in great stress that time!!
concert in 2 weeks time, piano exam in 1 month time,
pra pmr in 2 months time, and of course
the real pmr exam in another 4 months time
I don't want to let papa and teachers down that time
I also don't want to let you down
as you put high hopes on me also
I had dropped from 2nd class to 3rd class
yes people... please believe it
papa was so disappointed and he warned me
"don't you try to embarrass me again!"


but that's not the main point here
the main point is
you were there for me when I got nobody
and I know
you will always be there for me when I need someone
I dare not to imagine
what will happen to me if someday you leave me

no doubt you will leave me someday but can I refuse to accept this fact? ><

when was the last time I made you a card?
which I used to
when was the last time I gave you a flower?
which I used to
when was the last time I call you?
when was the last time I hug you?
sorry ><
I can't remember
it has been a long long time ago
but that doesn't mean that I don't love you!


I know
I have made you suffer
before I was born
as you carried me for 9 months
and you have to celebrate chinese new year in hospital that time
I have made you suffer
soon after I was born
due to some health problem
you travel back and forth to hospital
and I know
I will continue making you suffer
as I'm now studying and I need lots and tons of money><
but I promise you
I will lessen your burden
and try hard to be a better daughter


just want to tell you that
you are IRREPLACEABLE
you will always be my cute and silly HAMA~~
HAPPY belated MOTHERS' DAY!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

-from your naughty daughter-

until that... I will be there

wake me when your heart needs company...
take my hand when you feel lonely...
turn to me when you need somebody...
because 'til time runs out
I will be there for you forever


let me be the one to glow in front of you...
let me be the first to know everything about you...
and let me be the last to go away from you...
because 'til air runs out
I will be there for you forever

忘／记

羡慕她
就像小鱼儿
羡慕飞鸟一样
能在空中飞

但是
亲爱的小鱼儿
你忘了
海底还藏着
许多秘密
等待着你
去探索、去发现、去体会

过去的
不能从来
现有的
应该珍惜
不去羡慕别人
因为你有你的世界

谁知道？

花落的声音
秋知道

流泪的声音
心知道

心碎的声音
谁知道？
你知道么？
只有我知道

自我毁灭

害怕没有你
更怕失去你

所说的
所做的
都怕影响你
我顾虑很多
因为我的心再也承受不了
你再次的离去


决定离开你
决定失去你

所做的
所想的
不再因为你
只想为自己
因为我把心给狠狠地砸碎了
从今以后
不再，也不能为谁而动情

谢谢你

谢谢有你的关心
但我不要
因为我会伤得更严重


谢谢有你的鼓励
但我不要
因为我会变得依赖你


谢谢有你的笑容
但我不要
因为它从不属于我


谢谢有你的消息
但我不要
因为那都是关于她的


谢谢有你的出现
但我不要
因为我会更加喜欢你

我们只是朋友

星星还在
但当时的承诺
已消失得无影无踪．．．

我不要求你记得你曾说过的
但很抱歉
我不小心把它们给背了起来

这只是一场误会
你所言所举
最终给我的
只有那么一句
“我们只是朋友”

若真是如此
请你停止你所做的
请你停止你的关心
就当是为我 ,
你的朋友．．．

我是一只风筝

我是一只风筝


我是一只
自由自在
在天空飞翔
的断线风筝？


还是无时无刻
被你牢牢地牵着
的一只风筝？


飞得高
就以为自己
摆脱了你


回头一看
原来
我还是被你牵着走


可悲、可悲

确定？还是．．．

确定已经把他
彻彻底底地
给忘了吗？

还是不想让自己
再次挑起
心中刚平息的涟漪？

不想让自己
再次卷入
那无底的漩涡？

不想让自己
再次潜入
那无氧的深海？

不想让自己
再次回到
那失落的角落？

不想让自己
再次砌起
那破碎的心？

如果．．．对不起，没有如果

如果...
你能在太阳还未升起前
把天上的星星给摘下
那就够了

可是，没有如果
就算太阳永远不会升起
星星依然摘不到


如果...
你能在彩虹还未消失前
把它给画下
那就够了

可是，没有如果
就算你捕捉住那霎那间的美丽
彩虹最终还是消失了


如果...
你能在海水还未干枯前
把那贝壳给捡起
那就够了

可是，没有如果
就算你将贝壳给捡起了
海水是永远不会干枯的


如果...
你能在樱花还未掉落前
把它送给我
那就够了

可是，没有如果
就算你送了给我
樱花的灿烂也只有那短短的数天


如果...
你能在火车还未启程前
清楚知道你要到哪一站
那就够了

可是，没有如果
就算你知道你的目的地
上错了车是永远到不了的


如果...
你能在这星球自我毁灭前
明白我对你的感觉
那就够了

可是，没有如果
就算你明白了
你也永远感觉不到我的感觉

you will never know...

she sang you the song
the song that you love
I can as well
sing you that song
but what do you know
you will never know...


you will never know...
how misery I am when you leave without saying goodbye
how despair I am when you never talk to me
how many lonely nights I was there for myself
how many times I have cried because of you
and just because of you


you will never know...
I waited for you
no matter how late
no matter how tire
no matter how long
I will wait for you


you will never know...
how I wish I can be the one
that together with you 'til the end of the world
how I wish I can be the one
that give you the happiness of the entire world
how I wish I can be the one
that you love even for 1 minute


you will never know...
the touch of struggling
every single day
taking steps with no journey
singing songs with no melody
saying words with no meaning
putting smiles with no joy


you will never know...
with the ache when I wanted to forget you
with the hope when I wanted to continue loving you


you will never know...
you will never know...